There are some who love the cold. They thrive off it. They love the winter time for the sake of hot drinks, warm blankets, hoodies, getting rugged up and just feeling content really; all the usual stuff. Don't get me wrong I like all these things too but with the cold comes the likely chance for me to become prone to a depressed disposition.
It seems like a lifetime since I've been on a low like this. It comes as such a shock to my system because for so long I've been so used to feeling at least normal and content. Its only been about 4 months since my last low but still it feels like forever and it seems to hit harder.
Of course the cold isn't the only reason I've come to be on a low, but it just makes it so much harder to fight the depression off when it comes around. The cold seems to absorb all the energy out of me. The cold combined with a relapse of the depression makes me feel very tired most of the time and makes me loose interest in the things I enjoy. It makes me miserable to step out from a warm bed into the cold air of the day. But you've gotta do what you've gotta do I guess.
I know attitude is the key but there are some periods when controlling your attitude becomes a chore and you seem to get less and less out of doing it. I'm a little worn down. The truth is, I couldn't even begin to tell you why I'm on such a low. Its fustrating when people ask you what's wrong when you cant even begin to explain it to yourself.
It feels like I'm starving.
For answers,
For purpose,
For truth.
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