Cant sleep. Thinking of the one I love. Spent the afternoon with him. Re-running through the important conversations of the evening, everything he said, in my mind. The future doesn't exactly look easy. But I'm certain now that it's worth it.
You see, I have this severe insecurity that runs deep within me and makes me believe that I can't be loved, by myself or others. It must be true what they say- You have to be able to love yourself before anyone else can. It's a problem I've had for a rather long time and it's contributed to me making some incredibly stupid and destructive decisions. I've hurt a lot of people in my time. I'm so afraid of rejection and being hurt by the ones I love that I end up being the one to hurt them. Sort of ironic.
Where this insecurity comes from, I have no idea. It makes me feel like I'm crazy sometimes though because it seems so rational in my own mind. But then an incident happens where I reveal how I'm feeling and then I realize how incredibly irrational I'm being.
He said I over-think things. He's right.
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